Say “cheese”

So, whadya think of this picture?  A smiling, happy young lady, ecstatic in that special way that only the young and carefree can ever be.  Believe it or not, the administrators of her fucking school think she is displaying a gang sign in this picture.  I’m not fucking kidding:

A  James Madison High School student is being punished for making a funny face in her school photo. As a result, school officials have decided not to print her picture in the yearbook.

15-year-old Charlie Patton says she made a weird face because she was trying to make people smile. On photo day, she said the photographer hesitated before taking the snapshot.

“The camera girl looked at my mom and said, ‘You alright with that, mom?’” Patton recalls. “My mom said, ‘Sure, of course.’”

But administrators didn’t approve of the image. School officials are comparing her expression in her school picture to gang signs.

For fuck’s sake, people!

I’m not even going to bother elaborating here.  The stupidity here requires no elaboration.  I’ll just conclude with a question:  Which picture do you like better?  Happy little Charlie Patton up there, or the douchetard who runs her school?

School Daze

If you keep up with the news  then  you’ve  probably  heard  of Zachary Christie by now.  He’s the 6 year old kid from Delaware who was suspended and sentenced to 45 days in reform school for the high crime of bringing his combination of fork/spoon/bottle opener and…knife! to school.  Little Zach was proud of his Swiss Army knife-like combination tool he likes to take on Cub Scout expeditions.

Zach’s story has made the rounds of both the mainstream media and the blogosphere.  What did Zach himself think about the situation?  The New York Times quoted the little guy:

I just think the other kids may tease me for being in trouble, but I think the rules are what is wrong, not me.

You’re right, Zach.  You see, even though you’re only 6 years old, you possess something your local school authorities don’t: common fucking sense!  Zach, the neurons in your brain are actually goddamn connected to one another!  This miracle of biology grants you a wonderful gift that the adults on your school board don’t have: the capacity for fucking thought!

While the school board appears incapable of thought, they are at least capable of being so embarrassed by all the media coverage surrounding the consequences of their idiot rule that they are apparently revising the rule:

[O]n Tuesday night the school board made a hasty change to its code of conduct. The seven-member board voted unanimously to reduce the punishment for kindergartners and first-graders who bring weapons to school or commit other violent offenses to a suspension ranging from three to five days.

For the time being, Zach is being home-schooled.

The allegedly sentient beings who comprise the school board for the Christina School District owe Zach and his parents an apology.  Was the school board following the rules?  Yes.  But that’s not the problem.  The problem is that such a stupid rule was ever put into place.  You asshats are tasked with academically preparing the next generation to become intelligent and productive members of society.  And yet you lack the intelligence yourselves to differentiate between a harmless little kid with a toy and a threat to your students and faculty.  If you really want to contribute to education, here’s a piece of advice: Find another fucking line of work!